Attachment, Trauma, and the Brain: How and Why EMDR Therapy for Trauma Fast-Tracks Healing!

“We are hurt in relationship and we heal in relationship.” - Diane Poole Heller

Did you know that your experiences with your primary care givers when you were between the ages of 0-2 shapes your view of the world, how you relate to others, and how you deal with emotions?

When those early bonds are strong and secure, we are likely to develop a sense of trust and resilience. But if they’re marked by inconsistency, neglect, or trauma, we can carry patterns into adulthood that make relationships and self-worth feel like a struggle.

What Is Attachment and Why Does It Matter?

Attachment theory emerged from researchers observing mothers and babies, and noticing how different babies reacted when their primary care givers left the room. The way they responded fell into one of four categories, which correspond to the four main attachment styles:

1. Secure Attachment – You trust others, feel comfortable with closeness, and handle emotions well.

2. Anxious Attachment – You crave connection but often fear being abandoned or not being enough.

3. Avoidant Attachment – You lean towards independence and struggle with vulnerability and emotional closeness.

4. Disorganised Attachment – A mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies, often linked to unresolved trauma.

   
   

   

   
   
   
   

If you identify with anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment, you might notice patterns like difficulty trusting others, fear of intimacy, or shutting down emotionally when things get tough. These patterns often stem from past experiences that your brain has held onto as a way to protect you. Once adaptive survival strategies, they eventually become maladaptive in adulthood.

The Brain’s Role in Attachment and Trauma

“The past affects the present even without our being aware of it.” – Dr. Francine Shapiro (Founder of EMDR)

When we go through difficult experiences—especially in early relationships—our brain stores them as implicit memories. These aren’t like regular memories; they’re deeply embedded emotional and sensory imprints that shape how we react instinctively.

For example, if early experience taught you that love isn’t reliable, your brain might be wired to expect rejection or abandonment, even when it’s not happening. This is because the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) stays on high alert, while the prefrontal cortex (the logical, calming part of the brain) struggles to override those fears. This can lead to relationship struggles, anxiety, and feeling emotionally stuck.

How EMDR Therapy for Trauma Helps Rewire Attachment Patterns

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful therapy that helps your brain process and heal from past trauma—including attachment wounds. Here’s how it works:

⚡️ Processing Unresolved Trauma – EMDR helps reprocess painful memories so they no longer trigger emotional distress or automatic reactions in relationships.

⚡️ Shifting Negative Beliefs – If you hold deep beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “People will leave me,” EMDR helps replace them with healthier, more supportive beliefs.

⚡️ Regulating the Nervous System – Trauma can keep your nervous system stuck in fight, flight, or freeze mode. EMDR helps restore a sense of calm and safety.

⚡️ Healing Through Connection – The therapy process itself provides a safe space to experience trust and emotional support, which can help shift old attachment patterns.

Moving Forward: Healing Is Possible With EMDR Therapy for Trauma

Healing attachment wounds takes time, but the good news is that you can work towards earned secure attachment, no matter which style you started out with!

EMDR helps you break free from old patterns, build healthier relationships, and feel more secure within yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why certain triggers or emotional reactions seem to take over, EMDR can help you process those experiences so they no longer hold power over you.

Is EMDR Right for You?

If you’re curious about how EMDR can support your healing journey, I’d love to connect. Let’s chat and explore how we can work together to help you feel safer, more connected, and free from the past. Because you deserve to free yourself from anything holding you back.

"Mimi helped me to open the door to understanding my self, explore trauma in a safe and supportive environment. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance and clarity to overcome whatever life throws at me going forward." Client Testimonial

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