Why Attachment-Informed EMDR for ADHD Can Be a Game Changer
- Mimi Bloom
- Oct 22
- 3 min read
Many adults with ADHD have spent years feeling like they’re always falling short. They might have heard things like “try harder,” “pay attention,” or “you’re so disorganised,” messages that over time begin to shake their self image and beliefs about themselves.
It’s common for people with ADHD to carry painful core beliefs such as:
“I’m not smart.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I can’t get things right.”
“Something’s wrong with me.”
These aren’t just passing thoughts, they’re negative beliefs formed in childhood, often linked to early attachment experiences, and are These might not even be fully conscious thoughts, but often appear as a physical sensation in the body and a negative emotion, often deep shame or self loathing. Which then cause a barrier to feeling confident, having a sense of purpose and competence, which can prevent experiences like applying for a new job, or being open to new experiences.
The Link Between ADHD and Attachment
While ADHD is often described in terms of attention or executive functioning, it’s also deeply connected to attachment and emotional safety. When early relationships feel inconsistent, rejecting, or overwhelming, a child’s brain adapts to survive.
Some children stay in fight-or-flight mode, always scanning for signs of disapproval or danger. Others learn to shut down or dissociate to avoid pain. Later in life, these patterns can show up as ADHD traits: restlessness, distractibility, impulsivity, or emotional overwhelm.
Underneath those patterns is often a nervous system that’s never learned what it feels like to truly relax.
How EMDR Therapy Helps with ADHD
EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) helps the brain reprocess painful memories so they no longer trigger the same emotional reaction. It’s a well-researched approach for trauma, anxiety, and increasingly, for ADHD treatment through a trauma-informed lens.
In attachment-informed EMDR for ADHD, we focus on how early experiences shaped your beliefs about yourself and the world. Together, we identify the negative core beliefs connected to ADHD symptoms — beliefs like “I’m incompetent,” “I’m not capable,” or “I’m too much.”
Through careful reprocessing, the brain learns that these beliefs are no longer true. As emotional charge releases, they are naturally replaced by healthier truths such as:
“I am capable.”“My brain works differently, and that’s okay.”“I can trust myself.”
This process helps regulate the nervous system, reduce shame, and restore a sense of inner safety — all of which can make focusing, following through, and managing emotions feel easier.
Why Attachment-Informed EMDR for ADHD Is Different
Attachment-informed EMDR for ADHD goes beyond standard protocols. It emphasises emotional safety, relational attunement, and pacing the work within your window of tolerance. This means we don’t push past what feels manageable — we stay connected and grounded throughout.
This approach isn’t about “fixing” ADHD or forcing neurotypical behaviour. It’s about healing the emotional wounds that fuel overwhelm, procrastination, and self-criticism. When the nervous system feels safe, focus, clarity and self confidence naturally follow.
Reframing the ADHD Story
When we view ADHD through an attachment and trauma lens, everything shifts. Instead of asking, “How can I control my ADHD symptoms?” we begin to ask, “What does my nervous system need to feel safe enough to focus and connect?”
Healing happens not through more willpower or productivity tools, but through compassion, understanding, and repair.
If you’ve tried traditional ADHD therapy or coaching and still feel stuck, attachment-informed EMDR for ADHD offers a deeper way forward — one that addresses the root causes rather than just the symptoms.
“As we heal the parts of ourselves that believed we weren’t enough, we awaken our true Self — the source of our natural focus, creativity, calm, and confidence.” - Mimi Bloom
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